ineffabelle: (Default)
[personal profile] ineffabelle
So, this past Saturday...
I woke up, feeling a bit tired and dehydrated.  Drank a whole mess of water, went out, got some iced coffee, and something weird switched on in my brain.  All of a sudden I was just *happy*.  Everything good was beautiful and everything bad was funny and I didn't care about my woes anymore.  I took a ride into the city, got myself some risotto.  Then I took a LONG walk around the village, and ended up watching this group called STREB.  They were doing this sort of ladder-trapeze style acrobatic act right in the middle of a vacant block in the meatpacking district.  Everyone there was glowing and happy also, it was like, weird and synchronous.  Then I found something called The High Line.  Basically its an elevated boardwalk where an old train line used to be and it goes from 10th st or so, up to 30th st.  Along the way there are tunnels, and flowers and art installations, and the view is superb.  So I walked along the whole route, just feeling perfect and wonderful.  My movements were fluid and graceful and nothing bothered me.  I was able to let go of my normal crippling level of anxiety somehow and be myself without restriction.
At the end of the highline is something called The Lot.  It's basically an outdoor hangout space with food trucks and a bar.  I sat down and let myself just relax and melt a bit after that long long walk.
Next to "the lot" is the New York Trapeze School.  More synchronicity. At this point everything seemed very weird and almost trippy.  It felt like I generated this entire reality from deep within myself.  And I was just non-chalantly ok with that.  I went and got myself some food and watched the women's football world cup.  Japan had a surprise upset of the home team, Germany.  Then I walked back along the High Line as the sun was setting.

Got some coffee, but I was beginning to feel utterly physically exhausted.  Lots of walking, it was time to go home and sleep.  All in all a perfect day.
Since then, my normal mood swings have gradually returned, but something is (I think permanently) different.  I'm no longer filled with worry.  I know that place in my mind exists and I can get back to it.

(no subject)

Date: 2011-07-12 09:39 pm (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2011-07-13 06:17 am (UTC)

(no subject)

Date: 2011-07-13 11:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
great news, and hopefully you can have plenty more time in that space real soon.

(no subject)

Date: 2011-07-14 02:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Very glad to hear this.

(no subject)

Date: 2011-07-14 07:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Wow, well, I am glad you had such a nice, anxiety-free day. Sounds perfect. I do hope it continues. Reminds me of how I felt when I briefly took lyrica to help manage my own anxiety. (unfortunately it killed my memory and impaired my speech too much to continue on, and had horrid withdrawal effects). I'm sorry your anxiety is generally so bad, though. Anxiety is the worst. :(

(no subject)

Date: 2011-07-14 09:00 pm (UTC)
blackestdarkness: (death)
From: [personal profile] blackestdarkness
Sounds wonderful :)


ineffabelle: (Default)

December 2012


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