now I know what undoing is really like

working my way back now, I'm unravelling again. This time deconstructing the new construct...
this is so much happier, I feel bubbly and warm on a larger scale
because I'm moving back from the other side of the asymptote, I am a whole being deconstructing
so there's nothing ignored or avoided... I am watching myself come apart, but self-lovingly and confidently
aware that I can put the pieces back again - because I've done it.
Now it's the mopping up action.
I'm like the vietnamese at the end of the war, we're still taking hits, maybe even more brutally than ever, but we know it's only a matter of time... knowing that you're vindicated makes all the difference.
The greatest challenge is reminding myself when I'm in the moment to keep watching what I'm doing/feeling/experiencing from the larger point of view, so I can deconstruct it.
It's like triggering every neurotic habit consciously, in order to create a deconditioning effect.
All trigger and no reward, and watch the fibers shrivel...