If I ever get bureaucratically integrated enough to do it, I should probably seek a therapist of some sort for my social anxiety.
Going shopping today I was paralysed with these terribly irrational fears about people disapproving of me. I mean logically, no one is going to interfere with me in any way. But it was still initially terrifying and then subsided to a low level tension.
I think the more I push through and do things that challenge it very directly, the more it will be "extinguished" in a conditioning sense.
Which is necessarily going to be most of the next few years of my life. My desire to exist in the form of my choosing is greater than my social anxiety I think, and today was a small piece of evidence helping me forward, as silly as it might seem to someone who "doesn't give a fuck".
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