(no subject)

I had a really great weekend!
Went to [this] on friday. The show was outstanding, much better energy than the Galapagos show. It was definitely pattern-shifting for me... kind of psychedelic without the need for any chemical skeleton key (though I suspect the band were all in various altered states), but also in a very personal way. It's hard to explain, there was a deep structure alteration that was good for me.
I got a really hot PVC jacket in exchange for a cig after the show! I think the guy was flirting with me but I was too scattered post-show to really respond to it. Obviously wasn't meant to be anything but a good sign.
Got to have a nice time with some close friends, and then we went to see 28 Weeks Later! I loved it, a different vibe altogether than the first movie... less grim and foreboding, more "holy crap".

Exactly.

Finally, in terms of thematic content, decide what really OBSESSES you, YOU. What really turns you on, your deepest (possibly most secret) fetish (sexual, paradoxical, philosophical, political, literal, mechanical, it really doesn’t matter), and make that central to your work either directly or obliquely, regardless of medium, accepted traditions of talent, or any other practical considerations. If you analyze your SELF effectively, with brutal honesty, this core integrity will charge your work with REAL individuality, charisma, influence and longevity of power. Surrender to a greater group does not erase self-esteem, ironically, and magickally, it accelerates a flow of matchless integrity into a consciously constructed personality. (By the way the most effective tool I can recommend for discovering and directing “true will” with minimum deviation or self-delusion is the ritual “SIGIL” process described in this r-evolutionary manual). Tell your SELF that you will make the entire world agree with YOU, rather than compromise by trying to figure out what the world will like and agree with I.T.* in order to please and be pleased. The process is the product and regardless of how long it takes, one day the clarity of intent permeating your work WILL be recognized and your L-if-E will have purpose. Always and ONLY create based upon the assumption and sincere recognition that you may be so old that you really don’t care if they ever “get it”, and that it doesn’t matter because the worst thing that can happen is that your physical body dies of starvation or neglect in the meantime.

Genesis P-Orridge, New York City 2002

* Imaginary Time

(no subject)

I'm not afraid
of losing my mind (there's nothing left to lose that can be lost now)
or even breaking my heart (I know it will always grow back now)
just still
that I will fail to connect
to you...
We =
I and you.
Eye seek you. You see I
tend to
have this notion
of what to do
and it is all that eye
can really go on.

Clotho to Atropos

Can eye get it back in time
to reconstruct the whole
and not have to start all
over again?
I know that change exists now
I have lived the pudding's proof
and am no longer doomed
to repeat everything
so may this be as well
perhaps this time,
I will be able to grab the inner tail
of the spiral re-charge
and get to move forward from this spot
despite my defiance
of your pattern-cutting
I can't help but worry
though I shan't panic:
don't hold it against me
you withheld all evidence
after all
and you know blind faith
goes against my Will.

(no subject)

Took a walk in the twilight and my heart opened once more.
The sky was wonderful, the trees shadowed and lit at once...