some (haha) of the things you read here will only mean anything on a deeper, more archetypal level

"the meaning of a communication is its effect" - bandler

so if it looks like nonsense, it might be nun sense.

9 is the number of the counting.

Enjoy it for what it's worth anyway. Read it out loud sometimes, or dig in close.

Play with the words, but don't cut yourself [too much], unless that's what you're really into.

tons of cocaine...

Well, 2011 wasn't much but that poster of the kitten, "hangin in there"

Some good developments, in the virtual world, but not much to show in the meat world.  No regression though, and that's better than the alternative.

There's no resolutions per se, except to "finish the book", so to speak.  Those of you who have seen either The Number 23 and/or The Fountain, can apply either to the situation and it fits.

Time at last to pull the trigger on my own personal apocalypse.  Not in the "destroying the body" sense, but in the "let's hit the climax of the story" sense.

Dennis Ritchie, inventor of C and co-inventor of UNIX, died.

On a personal note, "The C Programming Language" was the only programming manual I ever tried to read on acid.
This guy was the real deal.

So, this past Saturday...
I woke up, feeling a bit tired and dehydrated.  Drank a whole mess of water, went out, got some iced coffee, and something weird switched on in my brain.  All of a sudden I was just *happy*.  Everything good was beautiful and everything bad was funny and I didn't care about my woes anymore.  I took a ride into the city, got myself some risotto.  Then I took a LONG walk around the village, and ended up watching this group called STREB.  They were doing this sort of ladder-trapeze style acrobatic act right in the middle of a vacant block in the meatpacking district.  Everyone there was glowing and happy also, it was like, weird and synchronous.  Then I found something called The High Line.  Basically its an elevated boardwalk where an old train line used to be and it goes from 10th st or so, up to 30th st.  Along the way there are tunnels, and flowers and art installations, and the view is superb.  So I walked along the whole route, just feeling perfect and wonderful.  My movements were fluid and graceful and nothing bothered me.  I was able to let go of my normal crippling level of anxiety somehow and be myself without restriction.
At the end of the highline is something called The Lot.  It's basically an outdoor hangout space with food trucks and a bar.  I sat down and let myself just relax and melt a bit after that long long walk.
Next to "the lot" is the New York Trapeze School.  More synchronicity. At this point everything seemed very weird and almost trippy.  It felt like I generated this entire reality from deep within myself.  And I was just non-chalantly ok with that.  I went and got myself some food and watched the women's football world cup.  Japan had a surprise upset of the home team, Germany.  Then I walked back along the High Line as the sun was setting.

Got some coffee, but I was beginning to feel utterly physically exhausted.  Lots of walking, it was time to go home and sleep.  All in all a perfect day.
Since then, my normal mood swings have gradually returned, but something is (I think permanently) different.  I'm no longer filled with worry.  I know that place in my mind exists and I can get back to it.

Hi.  Just popping in to let you know I'm here and still reading those of you who are still posting.

That is all.

You'll want to keep the volume down for this one.

These are the states that I've spent at least 24 hours in.


visited 17 states (34%)
Create your own visited map of The United States

Thanks to circuit_four for this delight:

http://buttersafe.com/2010/10/07/get-over-it/