Some of the life-coaching folks, god bless them, are already onto this. There was one book - Losier's Law of Attraction that proposes a multi-step address towards affirmations that conflict with your beliefs. Like, say you want to get a job you like, but you have a dim view of that being possible. So you start off with, "Some people get jobs they like." And you think about what that's like or entails for people who aren't you, and then you move it around to being you.
This is also done in cognitive behavioral therapy, actually. It's called acting "as-if" and it's had some demonstrable success, where there aren't underlying issues of depersonalization/aliennation. Basically, you tell a shy person, not to think about not being shy, but to act like they weren't shy. So you don't have them threaten their personal self-conception, they just behave differently. And then, often, other people treat them like they're not shy, since they're not acting shy, and if they enjoy these interactions it becomes easier to pretend not to be shy, and etc. You get the idea. This also can work in couples counseling situations. You act like you appreciate the other person, and the other person acts like they appreciate you, and in some circumstances this goes a very long way to helping the relationship get back on its feet.
Authenticity is really funny. It feels so important - when one's authenticity is challenged, it can feel like murder - but at the same time, it's also kind of superfluous and sometimes can really be sidestepped.
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Date: 2009-06-22 08:34 pm (UTC)This is also done in cognitive behavioral therapy, actually. It's called acting "as-if" and it's had some demonstrable success, where there aren't underlying issues of depersonalization/aliennation. Basically, you tell a shy person, not to think about not being shy, but to act like they weren't shy. So you don't have them threaten their personal self-conception, they just behave differently. And then, often, other people treat them like they're not shy, since they're not acting shy, and if they enjoy these interactions it becomes easier to pretend not to be shy, and etc. You get the idea. This also can work in couples counseling situations. You act like you appreciate the other person, and the other person acts like they appreciate you, and in some circumstances this goes a very long way to helping the relationship get back on its feet.
Authenticity is really funny. It feels so important - when one's authenticity is challenged, it can feel like murder - but at the same time, it's also kind of superfluous and sometimes can really be sidestepped.